well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
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