Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize