Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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