There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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