If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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