i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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