i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
