There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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