We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
