Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
operation have a gay friend backfired
is wine microwaveable?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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