brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
