my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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