Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
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