smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize