A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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