Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
