So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
