sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
high people should be assigned attendants
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize