I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
