My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I am available for nakedness
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize