Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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