Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
