at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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