i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
