I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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