you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
