THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
