Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
