i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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