so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
