There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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