ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
