we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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