Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sext me about skeletons
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
