"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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