Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
her facebook's as public as her vagina
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize