suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
