if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
