batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
