Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
