i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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