and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You are a genius and a whore.
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