god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
