he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
