i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
