im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
