The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize