margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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