I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
