just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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