I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
