even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
