I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
