I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
