can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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