And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
