Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
