the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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