DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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