I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
