my mouth tastes like poor choices
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
