honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
