He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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