The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
